Sometimes You Just Gotta Say "Fuck it."

Blackbird's First Rule of Relationships: I don't chase people. Ever. If someone decides that they don't want to be a part of my life, I let them go, and I don't argue, fight, or otherwise attempt to persuade them of the error of their ways. It doesn't matter what their reasons are, whether said reasons are entirely valid or completely bogus and based on misinformation (or incomplete information). You want out? OK. It might suck - sometimes it sucks a whole lot - but who am I to tell someone else what is going to make them happy?

Makes sense, doesn't it? At least I've always thought so, and I've never really considered the possibility of doing anything differently. To do anything else would be illogical. Why would you try to change someone's mind if they've decided that they want to go in a different direction? Why would you even bother talking about it? I'm not sure that I can answer either of those questions, but I am a couple hours away from throwing this rule out the window (and I can't remember the last time I was ever this nervous to get on an airplane). It's not that I expect there to be any change in resolution (WRT my previous post), but I cannot accept text on a screen as the way a relationship ends. Maybe if it were some kind of acrimonious conclusion where one or both parties felt angry / hurt / wronged, but that isn't what happened here. What happened here, insofar as I can tell, was effectively a breakdown in communication, not a breakdown in feelings. So I think that we should be able to at least look each other in the eye, or part with a hug, or something that proves to the universe that this thing was real, not just something that began and ended in the digital domain.

There are things that need to be said, and bits and pixels are not satisfactory media for the transmission of those things. Maybe it is a mistake to do this. Maybe it isn't. It feels like the right thing to do, having had some time to sleep and process. I expect to be just as sorrowful 24 hours from now as I am today, but perhaps I can give RAWR something that will be helpful to her in the future. If nothing else, I hope that she at least understands why it is such a Really Big Deal(TM) that I am willing to break Blackbird's First Rule.

There's a reason they call it the Prime Directive. Beam me up, Scotty.