LiveJournal Project - June 2003

One era comes to a final conclusion while another one is growing with maelstrom force.

Date: 2003-06-02 16:54
Subject: yes sir, no sir, three bags full, sir.
well, it's official. as of 2:52pm today, my divorce from stormshadowsong is complete. after the hearing, the attorney asked me if i was going to do any celebrating. i guess i found that question sorta odd - as if she thought i was going to go out and get totally fucked up or go on a screwing spree or something to commemorate my newfound singleness. aside from the fact that i think that going on a sexual rampage in an attempt to get over a relationship is an absolutely immature and stupid thing to do which really does nothing except fuck up one's self-esteem and increase the probability of a serious "oh shit!" sort of event (i.e. unintended pregancy or STD) - i can't really imagine why this is something that i'd throw a party over in the first place. (besides, i already have someone to sleep with, and it's not a 16 pound black cat, so there's no need for a rampage in the first place.)

millions of people go through their shitty marriages and they find themselves relieved to be out of them, but i don't really think that getting a divorce is ever something to celebrate. it's not a laudable accomplishment, it's a failure. whether that failure be the result of not making a good judgement in the first place when deciding to get married and getting stuck with someone that turns out to be a real ass, or an inability to make things work out, or simply a case of "shit happens", it's all the same - two people attempted (with varying degrees of effort and involvement, to be sure) to make something work, and they failed. end of story. there's really no cause for jumping for joy - it's more like a look back over the last X years of your life, coming to the bittersweet conclusion that, well, things don't always work out the way you hope they would, and "better luck next time." today is not a day to rejoice in the streets, but merely the conclusion of a long, strange chain of events.

so i guess really the only thing to say now is this: "i guess we'll see what happens next."
Music: Prabhamandala
Mood: okay

Date: 2003-06-03 10:11
Subject: tuesday morning amusement
one of the funniest things (funny in that smirkish sort of way, not really worth a full-on belly laugh) i see on livejournal from time to time is people that remove other people from their friends lists due to something that they've said, as if this is supposed to be some sort of terrible punishment for a heinous crime, or some sort of last-ditch weapon in a war of internet words. i can see it now... "oh no, so-and-so took me off his/her friends list! whatever will i do?! gasp!! woe is me! oh, the agony of the rejection is too much for my angst-filled soul to take and i cannot possibly continue this pathetic existence." hahaha!

in other news, the remodeling project manager person is coming today to tell me what it's going to cost for some new paint and carpet and such in a couple rooms of the house. it'll be nice to finally get rid of various mustard stains, vomit stains, and god-knows-what-else stains that have been indelibly etched into this beige pile of shit over the last few years. yay for home improvement.

from the "spammers just keep getting smarter and more annoying" category... i've noticed a lot of bounced emails coming through my mailbox that are rejected bounces - rejected because the spammers themselves are blocking my mailserver as a sender of spam. how strange is that? they send me spam, and in order to not get a bounce email (because the address they're sending to is no longer valid) or lots of hate mail, they RBL my mailserver, using the very same tools that are intended to stop spam in the first place. fuckers.

so yeah, it's time to make my weekly run to the post office.

life is good.
ravyn out.
Music: the sound of inevitability, mr. anderson
Mood: awake

Date: 2003-06-05 00:48
Subject: wooooooooooooo!
just some random shit.

1. due to a few different conversations i've had over the few days and things i've seen posted in friends' journals (specifically, moderatrix and some comments to one of her posts), i've decided to put together a little LJ utility designed to do the following things:

• allow a user to back up his/her entire LJ to a local database or textfile, with comments.
• allow a user to do a mass update of security settings on his/her journal entries.
  Editor's note: man, I wish I had built that thing now...

as i was thinking about it today on the way to the office, i think i'm just going to write a complete LJ client with those features built in. so, if you're not happy with your current LJ client, and you have some ideas for features that you'd like to see or things that annoy the piss out of you about the existing clients, drop them in a comment to this post and i'll see if it's feasible. (note, i'm unfortunately a windows user, so this is going to be a windows app, but i might do a kylix version as well, so if you use a mac, i can't help you.)

2. thanks to the magic of soulseek, i've come across some kick-ass new music. i downloaded an album by mylene farmer called "innamoramento" and it's one of the coolest things i've heard in a long time. too bad it's in french and i don't understand a word of it. i'm guessing that "innamoramento" means something like "moments in love" but that's just pulled out of my arse.

3. for anyone who didn't know, _purpleglitter_ moved in last week. right now all her stuff's in piles in the living room while i wait for remodeling stuff to get finished in what will be her room and also the room we'll be using for a library/chill area. unfortunately, there seems to have been a signal crossing between the contractor and yours truly, and i have no idea now what day they're supposed to be here, since tuesday apparently wasn't it. fun stuff to straighten out.
   Music: Mylene Farmer - Je Te Rends Ton Amour
   Mood: inspired

Date: 2003-06-06 17:13
Subject: moral and ethical dilemma?
i don't know, perhaps i'm growing a conscience, but i have a rather strong desire to make a few disparaging remarks about/to someone (because, well, said person really needs to have hir ego taken down a notch or two due to a fallacious belief that s/he is all that and a bag of chips (or cookies)). while i would normally have no problem unloading both barrels of the wrath of ravyn down upon said person, because sometimes it's just fun and excitement for the whole family to be an ass, i can't help but feel a bit reluctant to beat a dead jackass that thinks it's a thoroughbred horse.

in other news, _purpleglitter_ has offically been here for a week. to quote a song from juno reactor, "everything is going extremely well." i still don't know what's up with the remodeling people, though, so i guess i may have to try to find someone else to do the job. you'd think that if they were too busy and didn't want my business, they'd at least say so.
Mood: amused

Date: 2003-06-08 09:52
Subject: student loan telemarketers must die.
what the fuck is wrong with these people?! it's not even 10am on a sunday morning and i just got a phone call from some fuckass parent-student-loan woman - the same fuckass that called me a couple days ago trying to get ahold of my parents regarding some sort of student loan business. and yesterday, some other fuckass calls me at 8am - yeah, 8am on a bloody saturday - trying to discuss tuition payment plans for next semester. hello?! assholes! my parents don't have any student loans for me, and i think i'm quite capable of paying my own tuition come next semester.

i hope they get the message, because the next bastard that calls here trying to discuss tuition payment or student loans or some other shit of that nature is going to feel some serious ear pain.
Mood: annoyed

Time: 18:20
Subject: baa, baa, sheeple alert!

Music: Talamasca - Virgo

Date: 2003-06-09 08:21
Subject: hmm...
got an email this morning letting me know that my 10-year HS reunion has been scheduled. it's going to be september 19th/20th. should prove to be interesting. i ought to see if i can hit it hard and lose those last 30-40 pounds i've been meaning to get rid of by then, just to have one more thing to fuck with people over. =) looks like it's time to give up the soda.

and if you're bored and in the mood for some extremely twisted fiction, you can check out my response to this week's topic in writing_101 -- the blue man group blue balls blues. be sure to read the disclaimer before deciding if you want to go further. it's sick, twisted, and quite long.

Editor's Note: Fuck that, here is the whole thing, in its entirety.

it was yet another picturesque day in smurf village; gargamel hadn't been seen or heard from in several weeks, the sun was shining brightly overhead and not a cloud could be seen in a perfectly blue sky. smurf blue, in fact. brainy smurf, however, felt no desire to be out among the trees and blades of grass; he had just received the latest issue of playsmurf and was hiding out under a blanket in a dark corner of his mushroom, flipping one-handed through the dimly-illuminated pages.

"that hefty, he's so smurfy," sighed brainy, his other three fingers invisible down the front of his already twice-stained standard-issue smurf pants. "i wish he'd smurf me right in the ass," he continued, the motion of his hand on his stiff little blue smurf-tool increasing in pace with the quickening of his breath.

bam! bam! there was a knock at brainy's door.

oh smurf me, brainy thought, i'm almost ready to smurf! maybe whoever it is will go away. he continued his dolphin-flogging at a relentless pace.

bam! bam! "brainy, i know you're home. open up."

it was the effeminate and stereotypically-gay high-pitched voice of vanity smurf. brainy knew that vanity wouldn't go away on his own, so he pulled his hand out of his pants, blew out the candle, spent a few quick seconds thinking about smurfball statistics to cause his little smurf to sit back down, and walked over to open the door. vanity was standing there, neatly groomed as always and with a fresh-cut flower in his hat, and with him was scaredy smurf, looking over his shoulder and twitching nervously, as if he'd smoked too much tweak and couldn't sit still. brainy was angry; he'd almost smurfed all over a rather hot pose of hefty smurf, but instead he'd been interrupted. the look of annoyance was obvious on his face.

"s-s-see v-v-v-anity, i t-t-told you he was b-busy," scaredy stammered out, afraid of some unforseen wrath which never came, as usual.

"oh, nonsense," replied vanity, rather self-assuredly. "come on, scaredy, this will only take a minute," he said as he grabbed the reluctant smurf's hand and strutted right past brainy through the doorway and into his living room. before brainy could utter a peep, he suddenly had two visitors, right in the middle of his house, and right in the middle of his smurfing-off time. he could feel his blue cheeks starting to turn red with anger.

"brainy," vanity began, "papa smurf sent us over to-- hey, what's that you've got there? is that a copy of playsmurf?" vanity walked over to the corner where brainy had been engaging in his smurfing activity and picked up the smut rag.

brainy was speechless. he could no longer sustain his anger, the flushedness of his cheeks now due to embarassment. he felt about three nches tall.

"have you been smurfing off, brainy?" vanity was intrigued. he'd always magined brainy as a completely asexual being, keeping to his books and leasures of the mind rather than partaking in any sort of joys of the flesh. he took a quick look at the magazine, some of the pages stuck together, and noticed the distinctive smell of dried smurf spunk. undoubtedly, vanity expected to see his own picture on the pages as the object of brainy's lust (since, he thought, no smurf could possibly be more desirable) but his amused smirk quickly turned to a frown when he discovered that it was hefty's hard blue physique that brainy had been ogling.

"you, you, you've been smurfing off to a picture of hefty smurf!" vanity sounded rather offended that anyone would not consider him the most smurfy of smurfs.

"uh, uh, v-v-vanity? wha-what's 'smurfing off'?" scaredy caught a glimpse of the magazine and looked absolutely petrified - turning a very un-smurf-like shade of white.

not missing a beat, vanity dropped his drawers, revealing a perfectly-formed smurf dick flanked by almost spherical hairless smurf balls, grabbed his tool and started massaging it, coaxing it into a fully-erect, hard blue rod in just seconds. "this, scaredy, is smurfing off," he said, the pride in his rather large (by smurf standards) schlong quite apparent in his voice as he continued the motions, "and i cannot imagine that anyone would want to smurf off with anyone other than me."

brainy was flabbergasted, a tortuous mixture of embarassment and anger, but as he struggled to find the right words to express himself and deal with this unforseen turn of events, he felt some of the blood rush out of his face and down into his limp smurf member. the flaccidness was rapidly disappearing, along with brainy's mixed emotions. the change in brainy's attitude and tightness of his underwear did not go unnoticed, but all three little bluelings failed to notice the small crack which appeared at the bottom corner of one of brainy's curtains and the curious eyeballs peering inside.

"you like that, don't you brainy?" vanity cooed seductively, knowing that no smurf could resist his considerable, um, charms. "why don't you take off those dirty smurfpants and let me show you what else i can do with it?"

"uh, uh, v-vanity? w-what are you d-doing?" scaredy was near fainting and barely able to maintain consciousness. he had never in all his smurf life seen a spectacle like this; even when taking a bath in the stream he never bothered to look down and check out his little smurf. he knew it was there, but it always seemed to have a mind of its own, and he was afraid, naturally, that one day it might rise up against him.

"relax, scaredy. you can join us, and i promise, you'll have a great time. now, how 'bout it, brainy? fancy being smurfed until you can't even walk?" there was no stopping vanity now; he had stripped down to his blue essentials, hat and boots thrown hastily away in a pile of smurfwear, and he wagged a solid blue stick seductively in brainy's direction.

whatever hesitation remained in brainy's little blue head (or his big blue head - both seemed to now be quite willing) had dissipated with every sway of vanity's twig and berries, and quicker than azrael could swallow his scrawny blue ass and spit out the glasses, he, too, was buck naked and bent over a chair, blue asscheeks spread wide and waiting for vanity's entrance. the still-unseen eyeballs watching at the window grew wider, partly in disbelief but mostly in shock, disgusted by this perverse display of smurfcock but yet unable to turn away.

"wait," brainy hesitated. "what about scaredy? i can't do this if he's just standing there, watching."

vanity thought for a moment, trying to come up with a good solution. he wasn't about to allow scaredy to smurf his perfect little blue ass, nor was he going to deprive himself the pleasure and satisfaction from ripping brainy a new one. he suddenly had an idea.

"scaredy," vanity began, "brainy and i are going to start a special smurf club for only the coolest and most special smurfs, and we'd like you to join. are you interested?"

"uh, uh, i d-d-don't know, vanity. i'm a little f-freaked out r-right now," came the meek reply. "y-you smurfs are sc-scaring the sh-shit out of me."

catching on to what vanity was trying to do, since, his name was brainy, after all, the bespectacled smurf stood up from his submissive pose and played along. "trust me, scaredy, this will be the coolest smurf club ever created! we'll have meetings and members-only parties and it'll be tons of fun. have i ever lied to you before?"

"n-no, brainy," scaredy replied. he wasn't sure what to think, standing there in the middle of brainy's mushroom, staring at the two naked blue figures before him. brainy hadn't ever lied to him before, but this whole experience was already overloading his little smurf brain and making him feel a bit queasy.

"come on, scaredy, you'll love it. if you're really our friend, you'll join our club, and we'll respect you even more in the morning." both other smurfs were turning on the heavy peer pressure, and while the stealth eyeballs at the window were trying frantically to send a telepathic message to scaredy to get the smurf out of there, scaredy's will was breaking.

"uh, okay, brainy. how d-do i join? wha-what do i do?" scaredy was apparently more afraid of losing brainy and vanity as his friends (even though, in reality, they never liked his lame ass very much anyway) than he was of taking a smurfdick up his bum.

"first, you take off your pants, and then go over to that chair and bend over, putting your hands on the seat. then stick your butt up in the air, like so." brainy made the motion similar to the pose he had been in before so that scaredy would get the idea. even though he really didn't find scaredy all that attractive, even by smurf standards, inside brainy's round little blue noggin there was an evil smile forming. he couldn't wait to show scaredy what being homosmurfual was all about, smurfing his cherry in the process.

scaredy quickly complied with the instructions. "ok, what next? i hope th-this doesn't t-take too long, i'm not f-feeling well."

"just relax, scaredy. it'll be over quickly and you'll be feeling much better, i promise." brainy grabbed his tube of astrosmurf and lubed up his stiff smurfson, handing the lube to vanity to do the same. that's right, dear reader, it was going to be a menage a smurf, a three-car smurf train, something that both vanity and brainy had secretly fantasized about but never been able to act upon. until now. they were panting and almost drunk on their anticipation.

"ready, vanity?" brainy could hardly contain himself.

"you know it, brainy. are you ready, scaredy?"

"uh, uh, i th-think so," came the reply.

"i'm ready, too," said brainy, as he prepared to thrust himself deep into the quivering (most likely with fear, not excitement) smurfcheeks of one virginal scaredy smurf. "on three," he said. "oh, and scaredy, one more thing. our club is a secret. you can't tell any smurf about what we do in our meetings, or we'll kick you out. got it?"

"got it, b-brainy."

"good. now here we go. 1..." vanity reached down and spread brainy's asscheeks, revealing a tight little smurfhole. brainy did the same to scaredy, fumbling a bit at first, as he had never been on the pitching end of this kind of smurfball before. (so what would he be now, he wondered briefly? a catcher, a pitcher, a third smurfman? maybe a switch hitter?)

"2..." both brainy and vanity moved into position, the tips of their blue tabs ready to penetrate their corresponding slots.

"3!" at that, brainy thrust his hips forward, driving his smurfcock into the reluctant smurfhole of scaredy, who let out a terrible scream. unfortunately for him, the pain had only begun, as vanity soon followed suit with his entry into brainy's rear end, his own hip motion transferring into brainy and increasing the depth of brainy's foray into the uncharted, scaredy territory. scaredy felt like, well, someone had shoved something up his ass which was larger than the normal flow of objects exiting said smurfhole, which, incidentally, wasn't too far from the truth.

"ow!! brainy, this hurts like smurf!" scaredy was on the verge of tears, but he really wanted to be a part of the club, so he did his best to grit his teeth and endure the experience.

"relax, UNF, scaredy. UNF! you're UNF! too UNF! UNF! tense. if you relax UNF! UNF UNF! your muscles, it'll feel better. OOFF! UNF!" vanity was doing his best to guide scaredy along in between his rhythmic strokes in and out of brainy's bum.

"yeah, ERRF, scaredy. OOH! AAAH! just relax." brainy could barely speak, matching vanity thrust for thrust.

"i'm OW! tr-OWWW!-trying. bu-but it hurts! my smurfhole feels ripped!!" scaredy squeaked out a reply, but neither talking nor relaxing were coming easily for him. brainy was torn. (in more ways than one!) on one hand, he wanted scaredy to enjoy the experience and was inclined to slow down and be gentle, but on the other hand he was taking it full-on from vanity and every time he pushed his own blue stick of doom forward, it got some extra oomph from behind. that, and, well, his evil side's voice was getting louder and drowning out the last vestiges of a conscience.

"aw, shut the smurf up, scaredy, and take it like a smurf!" the quiet, reserved, nerdy brainy had given way to brainy the savage jackhammer.

the three blue bodies moved as one, beads of sweat beginning to form on their foreheads as they continued their smurfy fornications. scaredy attempted to request a break in the action, claiming that he really, really wasn't feeling too well in the gastrointestinal region, but his plaintive cries were ignored by the grunts and groans of the other two, who seemed completely enraptured in the carnal undertaking. the eyes at the window, belonging to none other than that meddlesome busybody, nosey smurf, couldn't stand it anymore and he turned away from the blatant display of homosmurfuality. this was a secret too horrible to keep, and he knew that if he didn't tell someone, he'd probably go mad and be sent to the insmurf asylum. unfortunately for the trio inside, the first smurf to cross his path was that insatiable gossip, smurfette.

"hi, nosey, what's wrong?" smurfette smiled as she approached the visibly disturbed nosey smurf. "you don't look so good." this was, to nosey, probably the understatement of the year. he summoned up a bit of stability and proceeded to explain to smurfette what he had seen, in complete and excruciating detail, right down to the little dark blue mole on the head of brainy's dong.

"smurfette, you have to promise me not to tell anyone. if those smurfs find out that anyone knows what they were up to, they'll know it was me that spied on them. promise me, smurfette."

"ok, nosey, i promise." she had every intention of keeping her promise, but no sooner had nosey excused himself to find the nearest place to throw up, smurfette was traipsing about the village, spreading the news. doctor smurf did some record business in anti-nausea medication that afternoon, doling out more pepto-smurfol in 10 minutes than he had in his entire previous career as a physician.

while the wildfire of gossip was spreading, the non-stop anal pounding was continuing at brainy's house. vanity started to stammer out the words "i'm going to smurf," followed by a similar affirmation from brainy, but no such thing was heard from scaredy. instead, he kept pleading for a break.

"guys, i, UNF, me-mean it. i re-really need to UNF, use the little smurf's room." scaredy was clearly in distress, and not just because he had a throbbing blue shaft drilling for oil in his arse. apparently those triple-bean burritos he had eaten last night were making their way through the last stages of his digestive system, and they didn't appear to be willing to wait.

"just a GRRF few more minutes, UNFF scaredy. OOOH!! YEAH!! you're EEERRF fine, and we're almost OOOOH done!" brainy wasn't about to stop now, he was too close to unloading a massive barrage of smurf spunk. even though he'd been smurfing off all day to the pictures in playsmurf, it felt like his balls were overflowing, so full of pressure that demanded release that he was sure they'd fall off if he didn't satisfy this need.

vanity wasn't saying much; he was instead concentrating fully on what he was doing. he had a similar problem to brainy, but with a different cause. see, vanity was so proud of his perfect smurfcock that he was constantly playing with it, but because he enjoyed staring at it while fully erect, he never allowed himself an actual release except maybe once per month. by that time his little blue balls would be harder than rocks, and probably would shatter if even gently tapped. so he, too, was ready for the high point of the afternoon.

"just a little more, i'm about to smurf!" vanity expressed his intentions, and brainy followed with a "me too" between gritted teeth. and then scaredy piped up.

"i ca-can't ho-hold it an-any---"

and before he could even finish the sentence, a rather large (by smurf standards) explosion erupted from his smurfhole, which not only expelled brainy's ready-to-shoot member, but followed it up with a pressurized power shot double-helping of fully-digested bean burrito that managed reach all the way across the room. and we're not talking about neat and tidy little smurf turds here, either, but full-on runny smurfarrheia of the worst kind. it was on the walls, on the floor, but of more immediate concern to those involved, a rather large dispersion had sprayed all over brainy and vanity.

activity ceased, and the silence of an ancient smurf graveyard filled the room for what seemed like an eternity, but was actually more like a smurf second.

scaredy attempted to stammer out an apology, but before his mouth could even open, vanity and brainy had turned from blue to red and glared at him with smurficidal intent. not only had he ruined their good time, not only had he, well, dumped a disgusting load of smurf shit on them, but to add insult to injury, neither one of them had gotten off, and their swollen blue balls just couldn't take any more. if they couldn't release their tension in smurf spunk, they'd have it in blood, and they began approaching scaredy, who, having reverted to his chicken-smurf self, didn't even bother to grab his pants as he bolted out the door, the other two (also completely nude) in hot pursuit.

and if things couldn't possibly get any worse, upon exiting brainy's mushroom, the entire population of smurf village was standing there, waiting, with a collective look of shock and horror on their face. in front of the throng was a visibly shaken papa smurf. brainy, scaredy, and vanity stopped dead in their tracks, unable to move, speak, and barely able to breathe.

an uncomfortable silence swept over the crowd. brainy raised his hand as if to speak, but it was papa smurf who uttered the first words:

"where do you think this is? smurf francisco? amstersmurf?! you three are a disgrace to this village!" apparently, this particular smurf village had not yet subscribed to the more liberal, modern views of other parts of the world, and still viewed homosmurfuality as a sin against creator smurf, even though the rest of the smurfs around the world had long ago abandoned these beliefs as archaic.

"bu-bu-bu--" all three tried to put together a few words, but even an incoherent sentence would have been a stretch for all three of their brains combined.

"no buts," said papa smurf, "besides, it seems like you three have had enough butts for today anyway. i hereby banish you from this village. begone!" and with that, hefty smurf and his brother, trashbag smurf, escorted the three pariahs to the edge of the village and threw them into the dirt, which was a substantial improvement, considering that two of them were already covered in runny smurf shit.

...

so they were gone forever from the smurf village. naked, depressed, and with the worst case of blue balls that anyone had ever seen - which is pretty impressive, considering that smurf balls are inherently blue to begin with. and as time passed, each grew sicker and sicker, dying most painful deaths long before their natural years would have expired them. for as it turned out, vanity was infected with SIV - smurf immmunodeficiency virus - and he had passed it on to his fuckmates during that one fateful afternoon due to their foolish failure to practice safe smurf.
Editor's note: yes, I really did write this. TBH I still find it incredibly funny.

Date: 2003-06-11 16:42
Subject: the gods must be angry.
just got home from leg day at the gym, and all i can say is that what my trainer lacks in boobs, she makes up for in pure, unadulterated evil. most people go on vacation and relax, but no, not her. she goes on vacation, finds some elite-athlete training facility, spends a couple days there, and comes back with all kinds of new methods of torturing the shit out of me. can i get a wheelchair now?
Music: Neuromotor - Triton Kill Me
Mood: drained

Date: 2003-06-13 12:07
Subject: this might be written for someone, it might not.
there is no honor in suffering.

everyone talks about taking responsibility for one's actions, and usually when they say this, they've already made up their minds that there's only one possible course of action that you can take which would satisfy that need for responsibility in their minds. and usually, that course of action is the one that will make you (at least in the short term, and possibly longer, who knows) as miserable as possible. somehow, it seems, enduring this unhappiness is going to make you or someone else a better person, and as a result of your choices, you've become obligated to do just that. to that, i say BULLSHIT. life is short, and you don't get another chance at it. so every minute spent in misery is a minute that you'll never get back. EVER.

that said, sometimes unhappiness and discomfort are unavoidable. if we want to eat, and we're not blessed with the ability to make food appear out of nowhere or a rich uncle who died and left us millions, we have to get a job and go to work. and for many people, said job is unpleasant at best, but viewed as a necessary tradeoff. but you should never endure a miserable situation that you don't have to, that doesn't give you something equivalent in return, and especially not because someone else thinks you should.

and only you can decide when those situations are fair. if the situation you're in isn't giving back what you think it should, get out. change your environment, change your life, do whatever it is you need to do, but if that change is going to be a major, life-altering decision, make damn sure that you know what you're doing. your life should never be lived at your expense for the benefit of someone else, but people shouldn't suffer needlessly out of capriciousness. choose wisely.

Date: 2003-06-15 19:02
Subject: and weeeeeeeeeeeeee!
today i was interviewed by a correspondent from the spacekadette broadcasting system. want to be a guest on ravyn's next episode of talkback live? read on to the bottom.

Q: You seem to have a knack for computer/tech related stuff. If you had been born 200 years ago, how do you think this would have manifested itself?
A: probably as some sort of esoteric tinkering type, like the mad professor that lives just on the outskirts of town and always seems to have some spooky project going on. hmm, come to think of it, then, chances are i'd be accused of witchcraft or sorcery because of some weird invention that i'd just created in my workshop that the village idiots didn't understand, and i'd end up being burned at the stake. not much fun.

Q: A lot of people pirate music because it saves them money and because they don't believe in making record execs rich. However, if you could buy the music you love directly from the artist, thereby rewarding them for their artistic endevor, would you? Or would you still pirate
A: it depends on how the system was set up and how much the music cost, and whether or not it would be possible to buy just one song or if the purchaser was saddled with the entire cost of an album. if it were done correctly, then i'd probably use it in some instances, but i think that i would also most likely still pirate music. first off, there's the whole "try before you buy" approach. you download it, you like it, then sure, go buy a copy. if you don't like it, delete it, and save yourself the cash. second, while i'd be more inclined to support the artists directly, rather than record company execs, if i didn't feel that the track was worth whatever the artist was charging for it (i.e., it's a decent track that i might listen to from time to time, as opposed to a damn, gotta-have-it-play-it-all-the-time track) then i'd just stick to my pirated copy. and third, one can generally get pirated copies of new releases on the internet before they ever appear in stores. if there's something that you're really looking forward to, why not pirate a copy the first time you see it on a newsserver or ftp site. then if it's good, and the system of artist-payment was set up properly, send a few bucks off to the guy who made the track.

Q: If there really are 9 circles of hell, what deeds would you determine to be deserving of the deepest level?
A: being boring, being stupid, abusing the public trust, or hurting my cats, my friends, or my family.

Q: What do you find sexy?
A; damn, i could go on with an answer to this for quite awhile, but i'll just mention a few. intelligence and confidence. nicely formed curves. spiked heels on toned legs. revealing just enough to spark imagination and wondering. leather and latex. plaid schoolgirl skirts. the right fragrance (depends on who it's on). scratch and bite marks. raver girls. goth girls. (speaking generally here, since i've seen both some raver girls and some goth girls that are downright NASTY) i think, though, that certain qualities that might make one person sexy don't necessarily work for everyone, and i also think that there's a certain amount of indefinability to it. in other words, i might be able to look at someone and say that person was sexy, but i might not always be able to tell you why.

Q: Name at least 2 books that have had a big influence on your life, and why.
A: the tao te ching, by lao-tzu (whatever translation you like). i don't know if i'd really say this book influenced me so much as it provided a sort of ancient validation for things that i'd already believed. although if i had to pick any book's message or philosophy that i try to live my life after, this would be it, simply based on the idea of action through inaction and flowing with the natural order of things.
whatever the hell my quantum mechanics textbook was called during my third year of college - because it firmly convinced me that, despite what i'd been telling myself for the first two years, i really wanted NOTHING to do with physics as an academic discipline.
what should i do with my life? by po bronson -- read this a few months ago, and i think probably the biggest thing i got out of it is that it's ok to not really know what the hell i'm doing with my life because nobody else really knows either, and you just sorta fumble through and make the best of it. i suppose it sorta fits in with the other book, too.

If you want me to interview you--post a comment that simply says, "Interview me." I'll respond with questions for you to take back to your own journal and answer as a post. Of course, they'll be different for each person since this is an interview and not a general survey. At the bottom of your post, after answering the Interviewer's questions, you ask if anyone wants to be interviewed. So it becomes your turn-- in the comments, you ask them any questions you have for them to take back to their journals and answer. And so it becomes the circle. Who will play? May I interview you? -- Originally from anoisblue
Mood: weeeeeeeeeee!

Time: 20:05
Subject: happy day, happy day!
regular followers of my insanity will recall about a month and a half ago, one of my cats disappeared. today, he came back. cory and i were chillin' in the living room and we both heard a faint meowing sound coming from outside. upon opening the front door, there was shiznit - he looks like shit - he's down to his bones and fur and probably only weighs about 5 pounds, but he remembers that he lives here and i think the other cats are starting to remember him, too. gotta take him to the vet and have him looked at and make sure there's nothing wrong. i can't believe that he just reappeared like that, but hey, i'm not going to complain.
Mood: weeeeeeeeeeee!

Date: 2003-06-16 01:48
Subject: the cat came back, redux
so here's a picture i took today of shiznit and raven next to each other. at one point, these two cats were about the same size, and they're both male and the same age.

one thing that i've noticed so far is that raven and priss seem to be afraid of shiznit - they sorta recognize him, and they sorta don't, but they both seem to be hissing at him quite a bit. he doesn't respond to their hisses - just ignores them, and he's never hissed back. it's rather strange. and i think raven is a bit pissed off about the whole thing, too; i guess he's afraid of losing his spot as #1 cat in the house. he's been kinda testy when i've gone to pet him or pick him up. hopefully they'll all readjust to each other quickly and go back to being one happy cat trio. don't need any feline drama in my house.
Mood: tired

Date: 2003-06-20 11:15
Subject: fighting the weekend boredom demons
this should prove to be an interesting weekend, or at least that's what we're hoping. _purpleglitter_ and i are going to a cabin getaway thingy tomorrow with femmdraven, desideroamor, dmonster and a few other people who may or may not have livejournals and even if they did i wouldn't know who they were. it's supposed to be a "gothic getaway in the pines" or something like that, i think that's what paula called it. of the bunch that's going, the only people i actually know are paula and cory, and there's been some brief LJ interaction (see previous entries) with nick. i think the idea behind us going on this trip is to meet some new people and make some new friends, since we're (cory and i) a rather antisocial sort of folk. hopefully it'll work out that way and nobody'll get eaten by a bear or axe-murdered. now we just need to find something to do tonight.

cat update... shiznit had to spend the night in the hospital and get some stitches on monday, but he's back at home and slowly returning to his old self. he looks pretty messed up from where they had to shave him to give him the stitches, and i've discovered that trying to give a cat antibiotics is even worse than trying to give one a bath. raven has more or less adjusted to shiznit's return, but for some reason priss seems to hate him. whenever he gets too close to her and looks at her, she'll hiss or growl at him. i guess it's an attention or a territory thing, because she never used to have a problem with his gray ass. as far as i know, she hasn't actually attacked him, but cory said she did chase him into her closet one morning. with luck there will be no feline drama while we're gone.

i think that about covers it. now i just need to drag myself to the bank, the bank, the post office, and the store. wee!
Mood: blank

Date: 2003-06-22 18:40
Subject: weekend update
so cory and i got back a few hours ago from the gothic getaway in the pines, as referenced in a previous post, and i have to say that it was a lot of fun. i wasn't sure what to expect with the whole thing, given that i didn't know almost all of the people involved in the outing, but everyone was pretty cool and i'm glad we decided to go. so here's the recap:

we got there around 4 in the afternoon and were the last ones to arrive; most of the bunch were out off-roading somewhere, so we decided to try to find a place to go hiking. not an easy task since a lot of the trails were closed due to fire danger, but we ended up stopping in at the tonto natural bridge state park and hiking 2 of their trails - a short one down to a natural waterfall, then half of another one down to a creek, at which point we took a wrong turn and went down an entirely different trail. so i'd say we probably hiked about a mile total, mostly over boulders and climbing up rocks at one point, and yours truly slid and fell off one of those rocks and got a nice war wound. but the scenery was amazing and well worth the bloodshed. unfortunately the only camera i had with me was the little one built in to my phone, so the pics i'll be posting don't really do it justice. anyway, we got back to the cabin around 6:30, ate dinner, and hung out with everyone. femmdraven made some sort of solstice ale, which was a modified red wine with some herbs in it (no, not THOSE kind of herbs), and i wasn't going to drink any at first since i really don't care for wine, but by the end of the night i think i probably drank about half a gallon. and through all that guzzling, it wasn't until about 1am that i started to feel somewhat blitzed. apandria and her domestic partner (that's the word she used) shan found a really cool lookout spot where you could get a good glimpse of the fires up in that part of the state, so we all drove up there and watched the fire, stared at what had to be a million stars (about 990,000 more than you can see on a typical night here in phoenix), and made a rather unorthodox acquisition. the night was filled with good conversation, david's gas, some talk about martial arts, some weird CDs, and just an all around good time which included desideroamor and i trying to screw with paula and anne while they were sleeping, discovering how to get someone to go buy you ice cream when they really don't want to go, and attempting to disassemble a road sign. =)

my only real complaint with the adventure was the bed we slept in - it just wasn't that comfortable, and despite my drunken stupor, i couldn't fall asleep, so i think i only got about 2 hours of Z last night, but otherwise it was a much better alternative to another boring weekend here in phoenix.
a few pictures available here:


Mood: content

Date: 2003-06-24 15:10
Subject: at&t wireless can suck my left nut
about 3 weeks ago, i call at&t to cancel my wireless service because, well, one, i got a new phone from sprint, and two, i don't feel like paying for shit i'm not using - particularly, stormshadowsong's cell phone, since we're now divorced. so what do i get in the mail today, but a bill for 283 dollars from those rat bastards. apparently, the cockknocker that i talked to to cancel the account only cancelled MY phone, and not hers. so here i think i'm not going to get nailed for canadian roaming charges anymore, and boom, here comes a fuckin' bill. so i call up those wireless fuckers and bitch at them, but of course, there's nothing that they can do, even though they fucked up. but it gets better - the first person i talk to, a pissant half-wit named louise, tells me that i can't cancel the second line until the end of the billing period - which would be july 16th - which means that i'm going to get another 200 dollar cell phone bill for canadian roaming charges whether i like it or not. that's fuckin' rich.

so i get off the phone with that bear of very little brain and as i'm sitting there, fuming, eating my lunch, i realize that miss louise has lied to me. for if what she said were true, the bill for MY cell phone bill for last month would have been a full 29.99 for the whole month, not 9 bucks as the statement showed. so i called back, only to find out that yes, indeed, i had been doubly screwed up the ass by someone with no penis, and that it was only their policy to cancel you at the end of a billing period if your contract hadn't expired. since mine had ended almost 2 years ago, fuckwit louise should've cancelled the second line immediately. in any event, the problem is now taken care of. unfortunately, i still have a phone bill for 283 dollars that has to be paid because of someone else's incompetence, but at least i won't be getting another one. bloody bastards.

so yeah, at&t can shove their mlife right up their collective asshole.
Mood: pissed off

Date: 2003-06-26 18:12
Subject: interview questions
for those of you that signed up to be interviewed, i've finally gotten arround to posting some questions. ya might've gotten them in email, but if not, you can find them here: http://www.livejournal.com/users/ravyn440/73461.html?nc=6
Music: DJ Analog Duck - Quack Wok Stir Fry

Date: 2003-06-27 22:07
Subject: cat drama continues
shiznit's been back for a week now, and seems to be getting healthier, and it's turned out that this is both good and bad. it's good that he's improving, gaining weight and getting back to his old shiznit self, but with this improvement in spirits comes an increased desire to play / start shit with the other cats. this wouldn't be so bad except that he's starting shit with priss, who's been rather hostile towards him since his return. and priss isn't having it. she knows where his weak spot is (on his neck/shoulders) where he has no fur and his stitches are, and she's torn a couple of good chunks out of him. so when he goes back to have his stitches removed, they're probably going to have to give him new stitches or at least bandage up that area. so i guess we're going to have to quarantine shiznit while we're out of the house to keep him from getting any more injuries.
Mood: bored