LiveJournal Project - January 2003

A new year, more entries. Let's see what happened to Mr. Blackbird this year....

Date: 2003-01-01 06:11
Subject: the obligatory new year's entry...
so, like a bunch of other people on my friends list, i went out to midnight kiss last night. haven't really been to many parties this year, but i can honestly say that i had one hell of a good time and was reminded that i still can have fun at these things, even after over 4 years in the scene and a lot of jadedness. music... LP was fuckin great, they reminded me of some of rabbit in the moon's better stuff. djskott tore shit up as usual - although he was relegated to the second stage, while his set was on, the main room was empty. eventually, people in phoenix are going to learn. and if they don't, someone, somewhere, will figure it out.

a funny thing: both scott and citrik played the exact same remix of BT's flaming june. and then later in his set, citrik started sounding like scott, playing things like the DJ Sammy boys of summer remix. ok, well, maybe it's not funny to you, but i was amused.

also saw spacekadette, teknotoy, nichiyume and lilredravingurl, and a bunch of other people that probably don't have livejournals... and then xianaz didn't even recognize me - the nerve of some people!

didn't kiss anyone at midnight and don't even really know what exactly my relationship status is anymore, but for the first time in several years, i can legitimately say i don't give a shit! weeeeeeeeeeee!! (if you couldn't guess, i'm a little stupid from the evening's chemical enhancement)

anyway, pics are here: One or two, just for fun. The first one is djskott and some long-exposure, and the second one is LP... I wonder what ever became of those guys. - Ed.

edit: oh yeah, and according to scott, it was alithium that i elbowed in the tit. sorry... shouldn't stand behind me when i'm feelin' the groove. =)
Mood: quixotic

Date: 2003-01-03 22:05
Subject: some people take themselves far too seriously
apparently, there are those out there who can't take a bit of what was originally intended to be good-natured ribbing, and instead must respond by deleting others' comments and then launching into some nonsensical tirade against aforementioned commentators. ok, sure, i can understand that. but what's absolutely hilarious about the whole thing is that when said people, having taken offense to a comment i made, go back to the original post in question to make corrections, and still get it wrong.

now, normally i wouldn't really give a rat's ass. i'm not a grammar-nazi, and everyone makes spelling mistakes from time to time, but when said person is commenting on their superiority to users in an LJ community specifically dedicated to the anal examination of grammatical errors, and this same person doesn't take the time to proofread before posting, then it only fitting that someone (namely me, who happened to be wandering across said post at the time) point out that yes, indeed, both the pot and kettle are black.

some folks don't take too kindly to such things. me, i'm getting a good laugh out of it.

edit: so apparently there was some follow-on commentary to my original smart-ass remark which triggered the annoyance of the person in question here, but since i haven't been in front of the computer all night, i never saw what it was. so now what we have is a large ball of shit in which one person is really pissed off (i don't exactly know at whom or for what reason, since i don't actually know this person) and i'm sitting here scratching my head wondering exactly what kind of shitstorm i stepped into. oh well. i guess it keeps life interesting.
Mood: amused

Time: 22:47
Subject: why, oh why, would someone legally change his name to "Jack Ass"???
http://www.azcentral.com/ent/calendar/articles/0103Losers.html

Someone really should've told Bob Craft back in 1997 that legally changing his name to Jack Ass probably wouldn't be the best way to personally crusade against drunk driving. And now, five or so years after his brother and a friend were killed in an alcohol-related one-car accident, he really needs someone to step in and "take the keys" because his "getting behind the wheel" of a $10 million defamation-of-character lawsuit aimed at Viacom Inc. isn't anywhere close to "acting responsibly."

Jack Ass, a Montana journeyman power lineman, is claiming that Viacom, the parent company of MTV, which notoriously spawned the "Jackass" TV show and movie, is "liable for injury to my reputation that I have built and defamation of my character which I have worked so hard to create." Yeah, the Jack Ass actually said that. Hard to imagine MTV execs sitting around a smoke-filled boardroom right now, nervously tapping their fingers and chewing cigars and yelling at one another, possibly something along the lines of, "Why didn't anyone consider how our idiotic but popular 'Jackass' series might negatively reflect on a guy who inexplicably changed his name to 'Jack Ass?'"

More from the Reuters story: "Jack Ass runs a Web site (www.andiass.com) centered around a donkey-like cartoon character 'Andi Ass,' which touts T-shirts, baseball caps, souvenir beer bottles and a message of responsible drinking."

Souvenir beer bottles with a message of responsible drinking? Wait, there's more: "He also runs a not-for-profit service called Hearts Across America that sells heart-shaped markers to be placed at the sites of fatal accidents involving drivers, power-line workers and for use in memorializing dead pets."

"I really want to emphasize the importance of this work," Jack Ass said, not adding, "and one of the best ways to do so is by filing a ludicrous and completely unfounded lawsuit in which I seek an outlandishly obscene sum of money, not that I have any real chance of winning, but because I have enough free time to do so and it will draw attention to my cause, because, you know, there's no such thing as bad publicity, right? Did I mention that my name is Jack Ass? Isn't that awesome? Aren't you now more aware of how bad drunk driving is? Hello?"
Mood: giggly

Date: 2003-01-06 16:00
Subject: greetings from internext
so this week i'm in vegas attending internext, which is the largest adult webmaster conference in the united states. and so far i've met some interesting people, had a good bit of fun, and made some good contacts. but i can't help but wonder something. as i walk around the conference, i see various models and girls that appear on various porn sites, and when you actually get to see them in person, they're freakin' NASTY!! how the hell does porn make all the money that it makes when the girls are so disgusting? or, to quote a guy that was in front of me at the registration line, "the closer you look, the less appealing it becomes."

a few other thoughts and realizations have come to me over the last day or so, too, but i need to sit on them briefly and see if they're real or just imagined.
Music: DJ Skott - 12.18.2002
Mood: cracked out

Date: 2003-01-13 01:37
Subject: pre-sleep entires are always fun.
warning... there probably isn't going to be much point to this entry except to alleviate my need to ramble before i go to bed. lately my mind's been pondering a lot of possibilities, a lot of thoughts, trying to make sense of things that shouldn't be there, wondering why other things that seem like they ought to be there aren't there, and looking for some sense of direction in a world that currently has no north pole. the problem, unfortunately, when you wander through the miasma, is that you don't know what's real and what's imagined, and if you make the wrong choice, you may find yourself running from nonexistent phantoms right into the arms of the destruction that you didn't see.

and i guess that's the real problem. it's easy to listen to your senses and recognize what you perceive, but whether or not what's coming up on your radar screen is real or not, well, there's the rub. and i wish i knew, because it would certainly make life a lot simpler. (well, i suppose it could also make life a lot more complicated, depending on the reality of the images, but that's a step i haven't reached yet.)

if i close my eyes, will it go away?

edit: logic and rational decision-making have always ruled my life. although i sometimes make dumb decisions (don't we all) i try to do what makes the most sense, and i trust in the power of the brain and the neuron. what happens when the voice of reason is drowned out, even swayed, by that which does not obey a rational process?
Music: The Devlins - Years Could Go By
Mood: weird

Date: 2003-01-15 14:04
Subject: sushi and soybeans...
hmm, so last night i went out with a bunch of other LJers (some of whom i know, like djskott and xianaz and lilredravingurl and a bunch who i've only met once or twice, like katryn and madd_dogg_coley or hadn't ever met before) for sushi at ra on mill.

damn, that was fun. =) i offered djskott $50 to eat two pieces of sea urchin, which, for those of you that don't know, basically looks like and has the texture of orange snot. and you know, i can't believe it, but not only did he eat it without throwing up, he actually said it wasn't that bad. i was hoping for a little more gross-out reaction, but hey, it was still entertaining, and skott made his money.

i think i got a contact high from everyone around me that was drinking sake bombers; although i stuck to water the whole night, as a part of my new plan to avoid (or at least try to minimize as much as possible) soda intake, it still felt like i'd had a few myself and had reached the "slightly buzzed, not drunk, don't give a shit and everything's funny" stage.

one thing i haven't yet figured out, since i don't really know him that well, is why everyone gives xianaz so much shit for everything. maybe it's better that i don't know, and i just laugh along with everyone else, not really understanding the actual joke. =)

oh yeah, and i learned something last night, too - that one is not supposed to eat the outer covering of soybeans. i guess that would explain why i spent a good couple minutes sitting there chewing away, hoping to break down the shell into enough tiny bits to actually swallow it. oops. =/

oh yeah, and to whoever arranged that little business... next time let's go to a better sushi restaurant, like saki's or kona grill. =)

Date: 2003-01-19 18:01
Subject: observations on vegas...
people who are piss drunk should not play blackjack. case in point. moron A, who's obviously had way too many, is sitting at a $5 table, and he's bet his last $5, and received two kings from the dealer, for a total of 20. dealer is showing a 5. aforementioned fucknut then borrows $5 from moron B, his friend sitting next to him (who is probably also drunk, but seems to be holding it much better) proceeds to split his 20 (which is something that you NEVER do). on his first hand, he gets a 7, for a total of 17. and what does he do? instead of staying, he takes a fucking card. gets a 10, and busts. oops, there goes $5. on his other hand, he ends up with 14, and he stays. dealer flips over her cards, has 15, has to draw, and ends up hitting 21. everyone loses. had asshole stuck with his 20, the dealer would've had 22, and the whole table would've made profit, including yours truly, who was sitting down at the other end of the table with a $25 chip in the circle and a 19. apparently, he got a little out of control later on and was escorted out of the casino.

slot machines are programmed not only to take your money, but to taunt you in the process. cory had a dream that i won the megabucks jackpot, which is currently sitting at about $27.8 million. in order to win, you have to line up 3 megabucks symbols on the payline. did i do it, thus claiming a recockulous amount of money? of course not, but i did get 2 megabucks on the payline and the third one immediately below it. how's that for frustration? and while we're on the topic, where exactly did the word "jackpot" come from? was there a guy named jack who had a pot? did he smoke some pot?

chocolate goes really well with pringles. don't ask.

one more thing. holly, if you're reading this, the answer is yes, 4 is fine. call me during the week sometime, right now i feel the need to embrace the gods of xanax and pass out for a day or two.
Mood: blank

Date: 2003-01-21 11:20
Subject: skool daze...
so today's the first day of class. i can't really say i'm excited about it; in reality, i'd rather just go back to sleep and wake up tomorrow. however, since it's one of those classes that only meets once a week (for 3 hours, dammit) i don't really have the luxury of missing too many days. not that i'm concerned about getting a decent grade, mind you, since it is, after all, ASU we're talking about here, but this is the class that i've been looking forward to for the last several months and i ought to at least make the effort to show up and hope that it's worthwhile.
Mood: apathetic

Time: 17:07
Subject: everybody else is doing it...
thanks to mindvirus i now know that:

A Smooth-Running Asshole is a Relaxing Experience.
Mood: amused

Date: 2003-01-22 16:38
Subject: war with iraq?
let's have a little contest. anyone want to predict when we'll go to war with iraq? submit your answers as a comment, and the person who comes close (you actually need to pick a day - the first day that the shooting starts) wins a prize. i don't know what sort of prize, that depends on if anyone actually decides to play the game. =)

Date: 2003-01-23 12:18
Subject: grumble grumble grumble
people who know me pretty well generally know the sorts of things that piss me off, because, well, nobody likes an unhappy ravyn and i tend to make myself quite clear when i really don't like something. and when you think about it, there really aren't too many things on the "don't do this lest you incur my wrath" list. ok, fine, that's all well and good. but what i absolutely don't understand is why it is that people will intentionally do these things anyway, even when they know FULL WELL what my reaction is likely to be. people in precarious positions already should put more thought into the potential consequences of their actions. boggle

on another note... is nothing sacred? i realize that i don't come into the office very often, mainly because i don't have to. and there really isn't a whole lot of shit on my desk - some paper, a broken CD-ROM drive, monitors, speakers, and my water mug. so i walk into the office today, and my cup is missing! i can't figure it out - the cleaning people wouldn't have thrown it away, it's not on the floor - where the hell is it? so i'm walking around, looking for it, and lo and behold, there it is, being used by some dude that's come in today for a meeting with brent. what the fuck?! last i checked, if something was on someone's desk, particularly something like a freakin' water cup, you don't just appropriate it for your own use because you think that the guy that normally sits there isn't going to be in and won't notice that it's gone.

edit: and while i'm bitching, i might as well get this last one in as well. normally, i hit the gym at 9:30 in the morning, work out with my trainer for a half hour, and then i'm off to do my business. well, she's out this week because she had shoulder surgery, so i got hooked up with someone else for today. ok, fine, no problem. so i show up on time, do my stretching and all that shit, and asshole's on the phone. 20 minutes go by, it's now 9:50, and he finally gets off the phone and we get on to the business of making my legs hurt really, really bad. and i don't even get a fucking apology for his 20 minute delay. instead i get to hear about how happy he is that he got tickets to the super bowl and is going to be staying at some friend's house on the beach in san diego for the weekend. you know what? i don't fucking care! you're late, i was here, and the least you could do is apologize for wasting my time and being unprofessional. at least i didn't get shorted on workout time - then i'd really be pissed. as if i'm not already from the above-mentioned items. =/

fuckin' christ!!
Mood: flabbergasted

Date: 2003-01-24 15:42
Subject: blame it on the oreos
so last night cory came over and we just hung out and watched movies, but in the process i consumed quite a few oreos, something i haven't done in quite awhile. what's wrong with this, you ask? nothing, really, except that oreos eaten within a few hours of going to bed tend to give me extremely bizarre and psychedelic dreams. i don't remember too much of it all now, except that it seemed like i was reliving most of the major parts of my life through the eye of the dreamworld. i had dreams of being a little kid, dreams of being in high school, dreams of being in college in florida.... then i started having freakin' reunion dreams (since my 10-year HS reunion is supposed to be this year). didn't have any dreams of the future, though, so i can't say where i'm headed in my little dreamworld. i wish i could remember some of the stuff that happened in the dreams; all i remember is that they were generally pretty cool. ah well. wouldn't it be nifty if someday someone invents a device, kinda like in the movie 'strange days', that allows us to record our dreams and then play them back in our heads while we're fully conscious?

Date: 2003-01-25 17:20
Subject: let the games begin!
this is shaping up to be one mayhem-filled weekend. last night i went to xianaz's house party, fat xian and the vinyl gang and proceeded to get myself quite drunk on malibu rum and coke. a couple of my non-LJ friends had thought about coming along, but mike was too tired and ben was too concerned that it was going to be a sausage-fest (it wasn't that bad), so they stayed home, and then _purpleglitter_ was also supposed to make an appearance but she bailed as well. so screw them, they missed a good time. =/ much merriment was to be had just being stupid and throwing around chocolate dubloons, making fun of various people (including, of course, the obligatory pokes at xianaz and djskott) and my own internal drama with my sore-as-fuck legs every time i tried to stand up or sit down. we (myself, mindvirus, katryn, nichiyume, and anyone else i may have forgotten about) took up a collection to try to dare xianaz to do something rather specific involving a slightly-melted piece of chocolate and one particular hapless partygoer (who shall remain nameless here lest that person ever come across my LJ) but for $65 he wouldn't do it. bummer! =/ i finished my booze and took my drunk ass home when the hardcore started playing - that's one type of music i just can't deal with; maybe i'm getting old or something, because it seems to be rising in popularity. nichiyume stopped in around 2am and we hung out and chatted for an hour or so which helped the last of the rum wear off so that i could climb into bed somewhat sober. yay!

so now it's saturday, my legs still hurt (fuckin' lunges - as i think about it, i probably did somewhere in the area of 150 of the damn things on thursday, so i'll probably be sore for at least another day or two), and tonight is acid reign 6 at the icehouse. and yours truly will be spinning on the main stage for one minute sometime between 10:45 and 11:45. mindvirus: i'm part of the one minute HEROES, not the one minute men. there's a difference. =) yeah, anyway, so i have no idea how well that's going to go off, since i don't know who's going to be on in front of me (also for one minute) and what that person's going to be playing. but, on the plus side, even if i totally trainwreck it, i'll be off the stage in 60 seconds, nobody will remember me, and then i can go listen to the people who actually know what the hell they're doing behind the decks.

weeeeeeeeeee!

Date: 2003-01-26 01:26
Subject: one minute clusterfuck
so as y'all can see, i'm back from acid reign. it's not that i didn't have a good time, but i just wasn't really feeling the vibe and felt that i'd rather go home and do something other than stand around in a packed warehouse, unable to dance and barely able to walk. so, the one-minute heroes set... a bunch of people didn't show up, so they ended up doing several passes through the rotation of the people who did show up. and i have to say, by and large it kinda sucked. one minute isn't really enough time to do anything, and there were so many different flavors of music that you never really knew what you were going to have to work with once you got up there. i had one decent mix, though, which was a slower drum n' bass track into a breakish track - the pvd vs. dr. dre and vnv nation tracks didn't really flow too well, and by the time i threw on my last one, astral projection's "enlightened evolution" i just didn't care anymore. so it was a recockulous adventure, but it was so recockulous that it was both fun and funny. i don't think the party kids in the audience knew quite what to think about it all, though. if they do something like that again, i think they should allow the DJs a little more time to mix - like one song per DJ or maybe 2 minute intervals instead.

so it's 1:30 in the morning and who knows what's in store for the rest of the night.
weeeeeeeeeeee!

Time: 14:28
Subject: the world is coming to an end.
gay country music. take a listen to the song "Pop You in the Pooper" and when you're done laughing, take note of how disturbing the whole thing really is.
_Editor's note: the above link has been dead for who knows how long, but thanks to the miracle that is the Internet's eternal memory, you, too, can still listen to "Pop You in the Pooper" - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=96NelAjjH4U

Date: 2003-01-29 08:00
Subject: some fun games to pass the time.
thanks to stormshadowsong

the insaniquarium: http://www.freshpulp.com/fishtank

brak and zorak in headkicker 2: http://www.adultswim.com/games/brak_headkicker/index.html

Time: 13:51
Subject: grr.
ok, i think i need a t-shirt or a bumper sticker that says "fuck all y'all" or "fuck you, you fucking fucks!" today i decided that i was going to leave the house (gasp!) and actually go try to run some errands and be semi-productive, rather than just sleep all day, in the hopes that not only would i get some stuff done, but that i'd also stay awake during the day and readjust my sleep schedule (doesn't it seem like i'm always trying to do that?) back to some semblance of normal. yay me.

and now onto the daily rant.

so i'm pulling out of my subdivision, ready to head down to the post office, and i need to make a right turn at a red light. standard, routine traffic maneuver which doesn't require a whole lot of intelligence. so as i'm waiting for the last two cars to go by so that i might make said turn without being t-boned into oblivion, a brown minivan filled with a cock, a bitch, and their ignorant spawn pulls up behind me and starts honking madly, motioning for me to turn. excuse me? but last time i checked, turning into oncoming traffic when there are two vehicles headed your way at considerable velocity was not considered the most intelligent of moves. so of course, the infamous middle finger goes up, and had more cars been coming down the road (thus requiring me to sit there longer) i'd probably have gotten out of the car, walked up to the yuppies in the bimbo box and started on some fanatical tirade about the various orifices that i'd like to shove their horn into. so yeah, the cars pass, i make my turn, and i'm on my way. and the fucknuts that seem to be in some sort of godawful hurry are left long behind. i'd have at least expected them to take off like a bat out of hell around that corner. given all the ruckus they seemed to be intent on creating, one would think that little johnny had just pissed himself in the back and they were hurrying back to their little suburban enclave to clean up the mess. so, fellow arizona readers, if you see a brown bimbo box with license plates LVC 910, please, feel free to give them the finger. i know i did.

i think watching part of bush's state of the union address last night has set me on course to be in a pretty piss-poor mood for most of the week. normally, i don't make noise at the television unless i'm watching sports and actually getting into the game, or if it's some demonstration of high-brow comedy like the jenny jones show and i can't help but laugh at the pathetic lives of the bottom-feeders that they scrape up to put on that show with the stated premise of "helping them out" when in fact the sole purpose of their existence is just to be ridiculed by the rest of us. but anyway... in between my bouts of rather loud booing at the TV (which seemed to scare the hell out of the cats) all i could think about while watching the little bush talking head last night was that he's a fucking moron, and that the members of congress are even bigger morons for standing up and applauding at regular intervals as if there's a fucking "applause" light that comes on, somewhat akin to game shows and sitcoms taped before an audience. robots! drones! half you fuckers don't believe the shit he's spouting, so why the hell are you clapping?

dear president bush: you are a unilateralist cocksucker that's going to get us in a war that's completely unnecessary. just because your ineptitude leaves you unable to find bin laden and thus have a trophy for the war on terrorism doesn't give you justification to resume a family feud with the dictator of iraq.

dear senators and representatives of the democratic party: show some goddamn backbone. the approval rating of mr. bush is dropping for a reason, you know - it's because the american people are finally starting to realize that he's just a pocket full of ineptitude waiting to happen. the economy sucks, the stock market sucks, and you're supposed to be the opposition to the status quo. of course, we all know that there really isn't that much difference between the democrats and the republicans, but it's nice to at least think that sometimes there's an opposition party in america. ah, the wonders of a pipe dream.

and finally, a note to the state senators and reps down at the capitol building in downtown phoenix. you guys are in a deep pile of shit with this current budget crisis - a $1.4 billion deficit. and from everything i've read so far, it seems that you're going to try to balance the budget without raising taxes - i.e., you're going to cut $1.4 billion out of state spending. hello, wake up call!!! a cut of that magnitude is going to impact vital programs across the state - education, healthcare, low-income assistance - programs that you really can't afford to be cutting. i don't like paying taxes any more than the next person, but let's be realistic here - you can only tighten the belt so far before you run out of holes. oh, wait, i forgot, raising taxes is a good way not to get re-elected. sorry, my bad. =/
Mood: angry

Time: 15:37
Subject: grr^2 (or, grr squared, for you non-mathematical types)
that's right, kids, today you get 2, that's two, for the price of one!

it's looking like i'm not going to be in school this semester. right now i'm not sure if i'm happy about that, not so happy, or if i just don't care.

the magic, metaphor and mind class, far from being a rather interesting cross-discipline examination of magical practices, looks instead to be filled with an unending stream of psychobabble and that ever-present feeling that one gets from members of the psych community that somehow they've tapped into the motherlode of information on how the human mind works and that no one else can possibly know what's going on. yes, that's right, the white men are civilized, and everyone else is a savage. didn't you know that? well, if you'd done this week's reading it would be blatantly obvious. sure, the reading list contains a little carl jung, and a couple chapters from a favorite book of mine, the holographic universe, but by and large it's nothing more than a bunch of academics trying to make sense of and then discredit something which they don't understand and can't prove anything about. in a feeble attempt to bring "balance" to the course, we read articles from new agers and talking-head doctors that claim to have stumbled onto something that science can't understand and thus they (the doctors) need to write a pop-science-new-age-self-help-feel-good-warm-fuzzy-fuck-me-up-the-ass-i-can't-take-it-anymore book to peddle to the unwashed masses in order to help them feel better about themselves when they're tired of going to church. is humanity, or, perhaps i should say america, so bloody fucked up that we'll grasp on to anything that gives us even the slightest shred of hope, regardless of whether or not it's true or even plausible? gah! as a pagan (even though i'm not a "practicing" pagan) it just burns my incense to read some of this shit. maybe i'd have had better luck with a class like this if it were offered in the anthropology department, but i don't think such things go on at asu. yeah.

as for my other class, problems of democracy, chances are pretty good that i'm going to get dropped from the class by the instructor, who, when it comes to class size, has got to be the most anal retentive person i've ever come across. there are supposed to be 20 people in the class. in my infinite desire for sleep, i didn't go to class on monday, and as a result the professor decided to let someone else into the class, thus making 21. oh my god, not 21! so i went to his office today to pick up a syllabus, and he proceeded to get all bent out of shape that his neat little ordering of 20 students (thus divided nicely into 5 groups of 4) would be thrown off by the sleeping miscreant. we talked for a few minutes, he gave me a copy of the syllabus, and said that he'd have to look into the class situation and that he'd get back to me. whatever. i looked over the class syllabus, and it's all readings that are familiar to me from my tenure on the debate team in high school; the big names of democratic political philosophy - locke, mill, rousseau, etc. yay (sarcasm intended). these guys do nothing but extol the virtues of democratic government as if it's the end-all, be-all of sociopolitical evolution. woo-fucking-hoo. when i think "problems of democracy" i think about a critical analysis of democracy itself as a form of government and an ideology, and maybe some questioning as to the effectiveness and worth of the system itself - but it doesn't look like we're going to do any of that reading these dead guys. the syllabus itself says that the course objective is for us to come away with a better understanding and appreciation of our own democratic system. fuck that. i don't want to argue the merits of democracy and discuss individual rights vs. the collective good within this little box that you've set out for me, i want to take the fucking box and rip it to pieces.
Mood: pissed off

Time: 17:22
Subject: i KNEW they put something in those big macs!
http://www.azcentral.com/news/articles/0129NEWS-HEALTH-FOOD-DC.html

Date: 2003-01-30 03:23
Subject: bah.
about 20 minutes ago i woke up from a really bizarre dream which contained more drug references than you can shake a narc at, including fuckin' joe camel in a state of drunkenness driving a cadillac around one of those roundabout thingies that they have in britain and almost hitting us (me, djskott, who was driving the car i was in, and _purpleglitter_ who was sitting with me in the back seat) head on. ok, so i guess i can't even eat a freakin' salad before i go to bed without having fucked up dreams. either that or it's time to lay off the smack. =/ i wouldn't care so much except that now i can't go back to sleep. i've only slept 5 hours (4 hours the night before) - why the hell am i not tired? i have a bunch of shit to do tomorrow and really would rather be sleeping, not be staring at the computer screen at 3:20 in the morning.
Mood: awake

Date: 2003-01-31 08:25
Subject: o sleep, where art thou?
i don't understand it. i can't seem to sleep more than 4 hours at a time. tried to go to bed yesterday afternoon around 3:30, woke up at 6, was awake for about an hour, and then went back to sleep at 7 and got up at 9:30 last night, and i've been up ever since. shouldn't i be tired and sleeping? i went to the gym yesterday for chest and biceps day, i did some cardio, i haven't gotten a decent night's sleep since sunday night (thanks to my buddy, xanax) - so you'd think i'd be ready to just crawl into bed and snooze for a good 12 hours. but noooooo... of course, knowing murphy's law, what's going to happen is that i'm going to get totally zonked today around noon, fall asleep and not wake up until like 8 or 9 tonight, which will really suck since i need to go in search of some rental ski equipment this afternoon and then make the drive up to sunrise to so i can learn how to fall down the mountain tomorrow. i don't really want to crash out after i get back from the gym in a couple hours, either, because then i'll be up all night (yet again) and won't want to wake up tomorrow morning to, again, fall down the mountain.