LiveJournal Project - December 2003

Another year down, 5 more to go.

Date: 2003-12-08 16:31
Subject: thought of the day
this is courtesy of soulcutter:

Language is a prison. It is a set of rules, and therefore it confines your mind into certain tracks of thinking. Useful for communication -- were we all to use our own personal language we'd be unable to make ourselves understood to eachother. But at the same time it leads to an unperceivable bias in thinking. Just as a programming language has limits as to what it can express, so does every language. There are ways to be clever within the boundaries of words, but you can never get out of the box once you're put in it. I feel learning more than a single language is a worthwhile effort, if only to give yourself another box to explore -- another viewpoint with which to see the world.

Time: 16:40
Subject: on blackjacks and tournaments
so... over the weekend, i competed in my first-ever blackjack tournament at treasure island in las vegas, and unfortunately, i did not come home with the top prize of $100,000. in fact, i didn't even make it out of the first round due to an unfortunate double-down in which 90% of my chips were so rudely yoinked off the table by a dealer's hand of 20. looking back on it, i have to say that i find the whole execution of blackjack tournaments incredibly lame. unlike the players in the world poker tour, which has become a pretty big hit on the travel channel, people who play in and win blackjack tournaments all pretty much do the same thing: bet like grannies. starting the round with $10,000 in fake chips, they bet the absolute minimum ($100 per hand) until the last hand, at which time they carefully calculate out how much to bet in relation to their opponents. B-O-R-I-N-G i don't really see how doing this is a reflection of blackjack skill at all; it's just a lame war of attrition which really has 29 hands of bullshit followed by one hand with all the excitement. i think it'd be much more entertaining if more people followed my strategy - bet big and try to amass a substantial lead over the rest of the table so that going into the final hand they can't catch you. it'd have worked, too, had i won the aforementioned clusterfuck.

in any event, i don't know if i'll enter another tournament. sure, the thought of being only one out of 100-150 people going for a shot at $100,000 or more is rather appealing, but in the final analysis i think i'd have a better shot at winning $100k at the blackjack table if i just took $10k in real money and played the real game instead of this tournament bullshit. of course, the pain to my wallet would be substantially more intense if i lost $10k in real money vs. $10k in fake chips, too, and i don't think i could possibly eat enough free filet mignon over the course of a weekend to offset it. =/

Date: 2003-12-15 17:02
Subject: finals week, shminals week.
today i finished the bulk of my final exams, at least in the sense that the ones today were the ones that counted towards my GPA and the ones that had the most potential to be a little more difficult than just a walk in the park, and now that it's over, i've got mixed feelings about the whole thing. on the plus side, i shredded my constitutional law exam - sure, i wasn't done early (i was one of the last three people to leave the room), but my answers were rock-solid and flowed easily. i don't forsee anything other than an A in that class. my abstract algebra final, on the other hand, was a nightmare. i needed to get at least an 81 to keep an A - suffice it to say that didn't happen; i didn't even have time to start the last problem, let alone finish it, and i already know one other problem that i fucked up, so that pretty much takes care of that. anyway, on one hand, i'm pissed off about the whole thing, because, well, i've taken all this shit before. back when i lived in florida, i took three years of hardcore math, even taking some graduate-level stuff. granted, this was 9 years ago, but i still have a certain expectation that my brain would've retained more of these things. on the other hand, i suppose i shouldn't be too upset - i didn't do jack shit for work in that class all semester and probably only showed up half the time, so i guess from that perspective, a B isn't that bad. i suppose what i'm dealing with here is the conflict between the me who believes in the concept of "maximize your grade while minimizing your effort" and the me who believes that there's no reason why, if i decide to do something, i shouldn't excel at it. and then there's the third side, which says that in the final analysis, it doesn't really matter anyway, because the whole point in going back to school was just to take things i enjoyed in the first place.

yeah, i know, i'm rambling. in any event, tomorrow is my philosophy final at rio salado, which i'm not at all concerned about, wednesday morning is my japanese final at MCC, and then thursday is economics back at rio salado. woo. it'll be nice to not have to think about any of this shit for several weeks once it's all over.
Mood: drained

Date: 2003-12-16 11:19
Subject: Words of wisdom from Robert A. Heinlein

The most preposterous notion that H. sapiens has ever dreamed up is that the Lord God of Creation, Shaper and Ruler of all the Universes, wants the saccharine adoration of His creatures, can be swayed by their prayers, and becomes petulant if He does not receive this flattery. Yet this absurd fantasy, without a shred of evidence to bolster it, pays all the expenses of the oldest, largest, and least productive industry in all history.

Date: 2003-12-19 18:08
Subject: the yearly christmas rant, and other goodies
every year about this time, more or less, i find myself writing some sort of bitter polemic against christmas, christmas commercialism, hypocrritical do-gooders, and various other things which inevitably surface right around the end of november and usually find some way to piss me off to no end. well, guess what time it is, kids?

no, actually, you guessed wrong. this year, i'm not going to do it. not because of a sudden change of heart and embracing of christmas like we've seen from the grinch or mr. scrooge, but more because i'm looking at it from a different perspective. maybe, just maybe, all of the shit that i traditionally rail against just doesn't really matter. after all, a good majority of people live rather uneventful gray lives full of a mixed assortment of unpleasantries such as stress, mundanity, boredom, into which is scattered the occasional piece of happiness. for a good chunk of those people, the winter holidays provide a time of respite when they can ignore the daily shitpile for awhile - something that we all probably need.

in other news, cory and i saw tom cruise in the last samurai earlier this week, and i have to say that i was quite impressed. the movie's a bit long, but it's also well-done, and thankfully they left out the gratuitous sex scene between cruise and the japanese woman that ends up taking care of him. i spent a good chunk of the movie waiting for it, and then when it looked to be upon the horizon, it wasn't there. nice touch. seriously. i'd give the story credit for its ideas as well - the clash of technological progress with traditional values - this seemed particularly relevant, given that i'd just written an essay on the same material for my philosophy class. anyway, it's recommended. now i need to go check out the final installment in LotR.

and still more news... cory's gone for the next two weeks; she went back to CT to visit her family for christmas and new year's, and although she's only been gone for a day, it already seems strange around here. i think raven (the cat) misses her; he's stopped meowing at the door to go outside and gone back to the midnight howl, something that he hasn't done in a long time.

and finally, school's over until january. if you factor in all my classes across the three different schools i was attending this semester, i ended up with 6 As and 1 B. next semester i'll be finishing all of my political science core requirements (all the 100-level classes that i never wanted to take out of fear of abject boredom) and the only thing standing between me and graduation is my foreign language requirement. if i thought i'd legitimately put the effort into doing it and not just dick around, i could make an attempt to teach myself all the material from japanese 102 and 201 between now and late january and try to graduate next semester by taking 202, but i'd like to do more stuff over this break than have my nose in a textbook, so i think i'll probably pass.
Music: Various Artists - Clarity

Date: 2003-12-22 03:04
Subject: more randomness
first, totally unrelated to anything, as i've been sitting here for the last hour watching "human traffic", i discovered that two psytrance tracks i've listened to recently have sampled this movie. spliffpolitics, by GMS, and some other track on the new psydrop album, fantasy seeds, use quotes from the movie.

on another note, i ventured out of my cave and hit up mary xmas 2003 on saturday night. for those of you who don't know, this is the annual christmas rave that's been put on for the last five years, and it's the one party every year that's guaranteed to bring out the jaded old-school kids who hardly ever go raving anymore. i've not been to too many events this year, but the ones i have been to haven't been terribly inspiring, but it's events like these that remind me why i haven't completely given up on the rave scene, even at the ripe old age of 28. anyone who hasn't seen the pictures but wants to (and then comment on how i don't know how to use my camera) can check it here (below)

that's about it for now.

Date: 2003-12-23 17:27
Subject: terrorists like oranges...
as i'm sure most of you are aware (at least if you live in the US or watch the news) the powers that be at the department of homeland ineptitude have raised the terrorist threat level to orange, meaning high. as a result of this, all manner of inconveniences are now put into place in the name of furthering dubya and friends' strangehold on power, so that when no terrorist attack actually occurs, they can go back and say "look, see, we're keeping you safe, and you weren't really using those civil liberties anyway."

ok, all diatribe aside, there is one thing that i was thinking about on the way home which stood out as particularly insidious. anti-aircraft missiles have been placed around washington dc, new york, and who knows where else. likewise, the military is flying fighter patrols at random times around various cities. this is done, we are told, because the intelligence gods that work for the various TLAs suspect that al-qaeda hasn't given up on the notion that a fuel-laden 747 makes a good anti-building weapon, and they're anxious to try it again. you do realize, of course, what all of this means, right? if not, let me put it to you this way: suppose you're on a plane, flying cross-country, and osama bin ramahama and his compatriots on this plane decide that it's a good day to die and they're taking over the plane. and suppose further that they decide that there's a nice skyscraper off in the distance that would make a great target. now, before mr. bin ramahama gets a chance to fly that plane into that building, the US air force will more than likely shoot your ass down. so, even though you, as a law-abiding american citizen, had absolutely nothing to do with the intended attack other than being unfortunate enough to be on the wrong plane with the wrong fundamentalists, you can kiss your ass good-bye.

i don't know about the rest of you, but i find something deeply troubling about the fact that the US government is, in effect, sanctioning (and in fact ordering, in some cases, i would imagine) the intentional killing of its own citizens, in its own airspace, none of which are guilty of any crime. it's one thing to be a member of the military and have volunteered for service and the possibility that you might die in combat for "the greater good" - but when you're just some random traveler being blown up by your own government, i think it's a bit worrisome. next thing you know, we'll all have to sign waivers when we get to the airport that state that our families won't hold the government responsible in the event of our untimely demise.

i'm not particularly impressed by the security measures that have been put in place since 9/11, but i hope those fuckers at the checkpoints do their bloody jobs. should some 22 y/o F-16 pilot get ordered to shoot down a commercial airliner that's been hijacked and aimed at the empire state building, it'll be a clusterfuck beyond belief.

Time: 17:55
Subject: 2003, it was nice knowing you.
hey, everyone else is doing it... well, moderatrix is, anyway, and i thought i'd steal the idea from her.

Q: What did you do in 2003 that you'd never done before?
A: went skiing and snowboarding. i can't really say that i actually learned how to do either of them, though.

Q: Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
A: i don't think so, but only because i don't think i made any. and no, i won't be making any for next year - what's the point in making promises that you know you won't keep?

Q: Did anyone close to you give birth?
A: nobody close to me, but there were some people i know that did.

Q: Did anyone close to you die?
A: again, nobody close to me, but there were some that i knew.

Q: What countries did you visit?
A: canada.

Q: What would you like to have in 2004 that you lacked in 2003?
A: direction.

Q: What date from 2003 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
A: none - maybe some specific memories, but no circles on the calendar.

Q: What was your biggest achievement of the year?
A: getting divorced.

Q: What was your biggest failure?
A: getting divorced.

Q: Did you suffer illness or injury?
A: torn ankle ligament (see question #1), sprained finger.

Q: What was the best thing you bought?
A: uh, as lame as this is going to sound, new carpet for my house.

Q: Whose behaviour merited celebration?
A: eh, i don't know. nobody behaved any differently than what i'm used to.

Q: Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
A: all the stupid people of the world, most of whom seem to work for the us government.

Q: Where did most of your money go?
A: i don't know, where did it go? i must've been robbed when i wasn't looking. oh, wait, i went to vegas. =/

Q: What did you get really, really, really excited about?
A: tiesto and halloween.

Q: What song will always remind you of 2003?
A: evanescence - my immortal

Q: Compared to this time last year, are you:
happier or sadder? both.
thinner or fatter? about the same, i think.
richer or poorer? richer.

Q: What do you wish you'd done more of?
A: working out, traveling.

Q: What do you wish you'd done less of?
A: sitting on my ass doing nothing.

Q: How will you be spending christmas?
A: i'm supposed to be doing dinner with my family. we'll see how it goes.

Q: What lj users did you meet for the first time?
A: lots of them: desideroamor, satin_and_lace, quilyn, djsimmy, mindvirus, and theklute

Q: Did you fall in love in 2003?
A: i don't know. that's a harder question to answer than you might think.

Q: How many one-night stands?
A: zero.

Q: What was your favourite TV program?
A: QAF

Q: Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
A: no, i don't think i hate anyone. there are a few people that i have a certain distaste for, but that's about it.

Q: What was the best book you read?
A: uh. i don't read too much fiction, but i guess i'll have to go with the LotR trilogy.

Q: What did you want and get?
A: my missing cat to come back.

Q: What did you want and not get?
A: direction.

Q: What was your favorite film of this year?
A: the last samurai (haven't seen LotR 3 yet).

Q: What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
A: 28 - i was in class.

Q: What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
A: eh, i don't know, it wasn't really that bad of a year.

Q: How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2003?
A: fashion? fuck fashion.

Q: What kept you sane?
A: my cats.

Q: What celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
A: none, i don't give two shits.

Q: What political issue stirred you the most?
A: pretty much every fuckup that came out of washington pissed me off in one way or another.

Q: Who did you miss?
A: The Dead: nobody
A: The Living: mark weaver - what the hell happened to you?

Q: Who was the best new person you met?
A: define "best"

Q: Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2003.
A: sometimes you have to be an asshole in the short term so as to not be an asshole in the long term.

Date: 2003-12-28 03:43
Subject: welcome to the son of patriot act
link lifted from t3knomanser: patriot act II passed, stealthy and ninjalike

looks like bush and co. got their wish, and nobody even saw it coming until it was too late. another irony: the department of homeland security says that america will not give in to terrorists, and that people should go on living their lives the way they always have and not change their plans and so on and so forth, yet they're the ones that are doing the most to completely upset traditional american values. osama doesn't need to blow up any more buildings. as far as i'm concerned, he's already won.

Date: 2003-12-30 16:07
Subject: raving for jesus
if you've any interest in the rave scene at all, or if you've come across that site http://www.truthaboutrave.com or if you just think christianity is a colossal joke, this is worth a read.

http://www.ishkur.com/features/suckysites/12-03-2k3.htm

Interesting. I specifically say that 2003 wasn't that bad of a year. Good to know for future reference.